Watercolor Ponies

I'm lying on the floor of my oldest two boys' room as they fall asleep in their beds. As I lie here, I've been reflecting on my day. I keep asking myself, "How did I do as a mom, today?"

I got Corbin up at 7:00am, gave him his clothes to wear, got him his breakfast, made his lunch, got his hair combed -- just right. I got my other three up and loaded into the van and just made it to Corbin's school in time for his dance practice at 7:30am.

After we got back home, I got breakfast for Cameron, Catherine and Carson. We watched a few cartoons, Catherine snuggled with me in the chair, the kids got dressed and went outside to play and they played in the basement. All-in-all, a fairly typical day.

I spent the day cleaning. Unfortunately, this was where I began to fail as a mom. I went up to the playroom and was unable to walk without stepping on a car, doll, puzzle, stuffed animal.....well, you get the picture.

As I bent over, again and again and again, to pick the toys up, my back would ache and I would get more and more irritated. Why did these children have to make such messes all the time?! Why can't they just pick up after themselves?! Don't they care about how much work they're causing me to do?!

Then they came inside and started messing up the downstairs that I had just cleaned! It was pretty late in the afternoon and I'd been so busy cleaning the upstairs, I hadn't put them down for naps yet. They were whiny, and arguing with each other, and tattling, running through the house and screaming........I reached critical mass and exploded. I yelled at them and marched them all upstairs for their naps, RIGHT NOW! Catherine spent the next two hours crying, further pushing me to my limits!

After two hours of Catherine crying, I finally went up and picked her up. She'd cried so hard, her hair was wet from a combination of tears and sweat. She threw her arms around my neck and cried, "Mommy! I want you". At first, I was unmoved. After all, didn't she know the stress she'd caused me this afternoon?!

As I held her, my hard heart began to finally melt. I got over life being about me, and saw that it needed to be about my daughter. She needed me. She needed me right now, and she needed me earlier in the afternoon, but I hadn't been there for her. I was so busy trying to clean my house that I neglected the needs of my children.

Before bed, I gave all three of the little ones their baths. I got them all washed, one by one, then dried them off and snuggled and tickled each one. I sat in the bean bag reading their bedtime stories as Catherine and Carson snuggled with me so closely, and Cameron sat on "sissy's" bed and kept showering me with kisses. That was all they'd wanted all day. Just to be held by me, and to shower me with their love.

I had some success as a mom, but I had some pretty big failures today, as well. As I sat with my children, and prayed with them, an old song by Wayne Watson came to mind, "Watercolour Ponies". The song talks about how quickly time flies and how much more quickly our children will be leaving our homes. It speaks of how it's our job as parents to direct our children to the Lord.

Carson drew a picture for me this afternoon as I was cleaning. He proudly brought it to me and said, "Mommy! Isn't it beautiful! I made it for you!" Corbin also brought home his watercolor painting that's been on display at the Frist Center. They're both so proud of their offerings to me. I don't want to forget these moments, and I don't want to take my children for granted again. There will come a day when I will long for those words, "Mommy! I want you!". I'll miss the offerings of sweet pictures drawn and colored with love, just for me.

Hug your children. Kiss them. Let them shower you with kisses while they still want to. All too soon, they're grown up and walking away, and your refrigerator will no longer be adorned with the watercolor paintings of things you don't recognize, but wouldn't take a million dollars for. Here are the lyrics to the song:

There are watercolour ponies
On my refrigerater door
And the shape of something
I don't really recognize
Drawn by careful little fingers
And put proudly on display
A reminder to us all
Of how time flies

Seems an endless mound of laundry
And a stairway laced with toys
Gives a blow by blow
Reminder of the war
That we fight for their well-being
For their greater understanding
To impart a holy reverance
For the Lord


But, baby, what will we do
When it comes back to me an you?
They look a little less
Like little boys every day
Oh, the pleasure of watching
The children growing
Is mixed with a bitter cup
Of knowing the watercolour ponies
Will one day ride away


And the vision can get so narrow
As you view through your tiny world
And little victories can go by
With no applause
But in the greater evaluation
As they fly from your nest of love
May they mount up with wings
As eagles for His cause