Poo Poo Chronicles (old post...enjoy)

From: Monday July 21, 2008

Ok...........I think I have some of the most wonderful children on the planet! After all, what mother doesn't think that about her children? My three youngest, however, are seriously trying to send me into the Nut House!!!!!

In the past six months, I have endured my two youngest boys painting their sister's face with my makeup. I have dealt with them throwing clothes in the toilet (after someone had used it and DIDN'T flush!!). I've overcome them pulling the toilet paper from the roll (not tearing it off) and continuously flushing the toilet. I've even overlooked the toys, hair accessories, brushes, combs, toothbrushes, other clothing items, basically anything they can get their hands on, being thrown into the toilet bowl.

I thought I had witnessed the most disgusting thing, when one day I found my little girl sucking vigorously on a wash cloth. At first I didn't think anything of it, until I realized that the only water source she could access was, you guessed it, THE TOILET!!!!!!

Today, my three little cherubs got the bag of oranges off the counter top and played "organge bowl" with them, on my hardwood kitchen floor. All twelve oranges were split open and almost my entire floor was covered in sticky orange juice (if you've seen my kitchen, you know that it's no small task to clean my floors!). While I was cleaning that mess, they proceeded into my bathroom where they emptied out my drawers and scattered the contents all over my bathroom and bedroom floors. I was able to get them to sit and watch cartoons while I cleaned that up. I sat down for a minute, to catch my breath, when my daughter climbed up into my lap. She said, "Ah, poo-poos", then lifted her leg and stuck her hand in her diaper, I can only guess to prove to me that she did indeed have "poo-poos"!!

After I got her cleaned up, it was time for lunch (believe me, her hands have never been cleaner!!!). I made sandwiches for all three, gave them all some juice, then to my relief it was time for naps!!

I changed everyone's diapers, tucked them all in, then I settled down for some peace and quiet. Cameron woke up first (after 1 1/2 hours), and all was still just fine. Then, about an hour later I heard some panicked screaming coming from the twins' room. I ran upstairs to see what was wrong. The smell about knocked me over when I entered their room .Someone, obviously had a BIG poopy diaper. Catherine had gotten her leg stuck between the rails of her bed. I walked over to help her get loose, and the stench was almost unbearable. I looked at Carson who was lazily lounging in the corner of his bed. It was from him that this horribly offensive odor was emenating, and I immediately could see why.

My beautiful, precious, sweet little angel had filled his diaper with the most rank poopy I have ever had the displeasure of smelling. But he didn't just leave it in his odor trapping device. He stuck his hands (yes, hands - plural) down in his diaper and decided to take up finger painting with what he found inside!!! The only part of his body not decimated by this most odiferously foul stench, was his hair. There were his two, beautiful, perfect, mesmerizingly blue eyes peering out at me from the midst of his, well, "schooey"!!

I got Catherine loose from her bondage and set her outside the room. I opened the bathroom and began running a tub of water. I walked over to Carson, who by now had realized the error of his ways and innocently looked at me and proclaimed, "ICK!!!", while holding out his hands and arms in disgust. After MUCH rinsing (and gagging), I got my little imp clean, dried off, and diapered. I then stripped his bed of everything, the bumper, sheet, quilt, blankets, and Ernie, threw it all in the heavily soiled cycle in the washing machine and prayed for my husband to come home from work early!!!!

At dinner, Carson wasn't through wreaking havoc on himself. He plastered his belly with the fettucini noodles from our chicken alfredo dinner. Then, he rubbed alfredo sauce in his hair (I guess to make up for not rubbing the other "stuff" in his hair, earlier). He dumped his juice all over himself, his dinner plate, the table, and the floor, and to top it all off, drooled down the front of himself the entire time. After supper, we blew bubbles on the back deck, then threw the kids in the tub, then peace took over our house once again as we put the children down to bed, one-by-one.

Not sure how tomorrow is going to turn out. We told our three-year-old (under advisement from my mother) that the diaper fairy was coming to get all his diapers tonight for a needy little boy in town. So, beginning tomorrow he has to exclusively use the big boy potty. Pray for me!!!

I need a vacation!!

Not the aforementioned day, but yet another day of "finger painting" associated with poo! Gotta love my life!!! :-)