I'm lying on the floor of my oldest two boys' room as they fall asleep in their beds. As I lie here, I've been reflecting on my day. I keep asking myself, "How did I do as a mom, today?"
I got Corbin up at 7:00am, gave him his clothes to wear, got him his breakfast, made his lunch, got his hair combed -- just right. I got my other three up and loaded into the van and just made it to Corbin's school in time for his dance practice at 7:30am.
After we got back home, I got breakfast for Cameron, Catherine and Carson. We watched a few cartoons, Catherine snuggled with me in the chair, the kids got dressed and went outside to play and they played in the basement. All-in-all, a fairly typical day.
I spent the day cleaning. Unfortunately, this was where I began to fail as a mom. I went up to the playroom and was unable to walk without stepping on a car, doll, puzzle, stuffed animal.....well, you get the picture.
As I bent over, again and again and again, to pick the toys up, my back would ache and I would get more and more irritated. Why did these children have to make such messes all the time?! Why can't they just pick up after themselves?! Don't they care about how much work they're causing me to do?!
Then they came inside and started messing up the downstairs that I had just cleaned! It was pretty late in the afternoon and I'd been so busy cleaning the upstairs, I hadn't put them down for naps yet. They were whiny, and arguing with each other, and tattling, running through the house and screaming........I reached critical mass and exploded. I yelled at them and marched them all upstairs for their naps, RIGHT NOW! Catherine spent the next two hours crying, further pushing me to my limits!
After two hours of Catherine crying, I finally went up and picked her up. She'd cried so hard, her hair was wet from a combination of tears and sweat. She threw her arms around my neck and cried, "Mommy! I want you". At first, I was unmoved. After all, didn't she know the stress she'd caused me this afternoon?!
As I held her, my hard heart began to finally melt. I got over life being about me, and saw that it needed to be about my daughter. She needed me. She needed me right now, and she needed me earlier in the afternoon, but I hadn't been there for her. I was so busy trying to clean my house that I neglected the needs of my children.
Before bed, I gave all three of the little ones their baths. I got them all washed, one by one, then dried them off and snuggled and tickled each one. I sat in the bean bag reading their bedtime stories as Catherine and Carson snuggled with me so closely, and Cameron sat on "sissy's" bed and kept showering me with kisses. That was all they'd wanted all day. Just to be held by me, and to shower me with their love.
I had some success as a mom, but I had some pretty big failures today, as well. As I sat with my children, and prayed with them, an old song by Wayne Watson came to mind, "Watercolour Ponies". The song talks about how quickly time flies and how much more quickly our children will be leaving our homes. It speaks of how it's our job as parents to direct our children to the Lord.
Carson drew a picture for me this afternoon as I was cleaning. He proudly brought it to me and said, "Mommy! Isn't it beautiful! I made it for you!" Corbin also brought home his watercolor painting that's been on display at the Frist Center. They're both so proud of their offerings to me. I don't want to forget these moments, and I don't want to take my children for granted again. There will come a day when I will long for those words, "Mommy! I want you!". I'll miss the offerings of sweet pictures drawn and colored with love, just for me.
Hug your children. Kiss them. Let them shower you with kisses while they still want to. All too soon, they're grown up and walking away, and your refrigerator will no longer be adorned with the watercolor paintings of things you don't recognize, but wouldn't take a million dollars for. Here are the lyrics to the song:
There are watercolour ponies
On my refrigerater door
And the shape of something
I don't really recognize
Drawn by careful little fingers
And put proudly on display
A reminder to us all
Of how time flies
Seems an endless mound of laundry
And a stairway laced with toys
Gives a blow by blow
Reminder of the war
That we fight for their well-being
For their greater understanding
To impart a holy reverance
For the Lord
But, baby, what will we do
When it comes back to me an you?
They look a little less
Like little boys every day
Oh, the pleasure of watching
The children growing
Is mixed with a bitter cup
Of knowing the watercolour ponies
Will one day ride away
And the vision can get so narrow
As you view through your tiny world
And little victories can go by
With no applause
But in the greater evaluation
As they fly from your nest of love
May they mount up with wings
As eagles for His cause
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Monday, April 26, 2010
Basketball
This past weekend was full of basketball. Corbin, our 11-year-old, plays on a competitive travel basketball team. They don't play games like your typical rec league (one or two games on a Saturday), but instead they play in three-day-long tournaments. The competition is stiff!
Corbin does a pretty good job playing. He, so far, hasn't excelled in basketball the way he did in hockey (got a hat trick most games he played). However, Corbin's forte has been defensive play. He can block shots, rebound, and overall intimidate his opponents by his size. At the young age of 11, Corbin is already 5' 4" tall! Off the pediatrician's growth charts, percentage wise.
He's the tallest boy on his team and typically one of the tallest or THE tallest out on the court during games. Which brings me to the tournament this past weekend. The first team the Blue Crush (that's the name of Corbin's team) played, were the biggest 11-year-old boys I've ever seen! Out of 12 boys, they had about 7 who were just as tall or taller than Corbin! And BOY! Were they coordinated!! We lost 44 to 10. Corbin felt pretty bad, but us parents all decided that those boys had to be sooooo much older than 11. They had to be at least 12! We did find out that they were from a private school, and that they'd been playing together for over 3 years. That took some of the sting of losing to them, out.
Saturday morning's game didn't fare much better, except that the score wasn't as severe (23 to 12).
Sunday's game, Corbin started in the Center position. There was a good reason for this. The opposing team had their tallest guy in the Center position and we had to answer in kind. Corbin walked out onto the court, took one look at his opponent, then he turned and looked at me. I would have given anything to have been able to take a picture of his face in that moment.
You see, typcially, when Corbin plays that position, he's looking at the top of his opponents head at best, or eye-to-eye at worst. Today, he was staring at his opponents bellybutton! NO JOKE! I saw Corbin walk out onto the court laughing and high-fiving his teammates and take his position in the center of the court. Then, he noticed the mountain standing in front of him. Corbin's head looked down at his opponents stretch limos first (a.k.a. feet) then as his head moved slowly upwards, taking in all 3000lbs. of his 12-foot-tall opponent, the reality of his situation hit him. He turned to me with his mouth open and eyes wide as if to say, "Mommy!".
The refs threw the ball up between Corbin and the "skyscraper", and this kid got his fingers on the ball almost before the refs let go of it. Have you ever seen the movie, "Princess Bride"? There's a scene where the hero, Wesley, has to face a giant in hand-to-hand combat. Wesley repeatedly throws himself against the giant nearly popping a vein in his head, all the while the giant just stands there not budging and inch. Wesley's efforts are a pure lesson in futility.
Our poor boys, Corbin included, would push against their giant of an opponent to the point that they'd nearly be on the floor with their efforts, but this kid didn't budge! We parents decided, by the end of the game, that this wasn't a kid but a full-grown man at least 32 years old.
Well, the team lost the game, 44 - 12. Corbin scored a basket and got three rebounds. It wasn't pretty and the boys felt pretty beat up by the time it was all over. I think they learned a lot this weekend, though. They learned where they're weak in their defenses, and passing. They also learned how to lose.
I think it's so important for children to learn this lesson. When they lose, and they survive, they come to realize that it's not such a bad thing. It seems nowadays, there's a big push to make sure that our children never "lose". Everybody gets a trophy, everybody wins a prize, all so that no one feels left out. If there are no losers, then no one wins either. If our children never feel the pain of losing, they'll never experience the joy of winning. If they never experience the joy of winning, they'll never learn the lesson of striving for excellence.
One of the hardest parenting lessons to learn, I think, is allowing your children to lose. Corbin felt the sting of losing for a few minutes, then we went and got some pizza. He also was allowed the spend a quarter on a game at the restaurant and he won a bouncy ball. All was right with the world again.
BTW - that boy, was actually about 185lbs, and 6 feet tall. But I'm sure, to Corbin , he looked 12 feet tall. :-)
Corbin does a pretty good job playing. He, so far, hasn't excelled in basketball the way he did in hockey (got a hat trick most games he played). However, Corbin's forte has been defensive play. He can block shots, rebound, and overall intimidate his opponents by his size. At the young age of 11, Corbin is already 5' 4" tall! Off the pediatrician's growth charts, percentage wise.
He's the tallest boy on his team and typically one of the tallest or THE tallest out on the court during games. Which brings me to the tournament this past weekend. The first team the Blue Crush (that's the name of Corbin's team) played, were the biggest 11-year-old boys I've ever seen! Out of 12 boys, they had about 7 who were just as tall or taller than Corbin! And BOY! Were they coordinated!! We lost 44 to 10. Corbin felt pretty bad, but us parents all decided that those boys had to be sooooo much older than 11. They had to be at least 12! We did find out that they were from a private school, and that they'd been playing together for over 3 years. That took some of the sting of losing to them, out.
Saturday morning's game didn't fare much better, except that the score wasn't as severe (23 to 12).
Sunday's game, Corbin started in the Center position. There was a good reason for this. The opposing team had their tallest guy in the Center position and we had to answer in kind. Corbin walked out onto the court, took one look at his opponent, then he turned and looked at me. I would have given anything to have been able to take a picture of his face in that moment.
You see, typcially, when Corbin plays that position, he's looking at the top of his opponents head at best, or eye-to-eye at worst. Today, he was staring at his opponents bellybutton! NO JOKE! I saw Corbin walk out onto the court laughing and high-fiving his teammates and take his position in the center of the court. Then, he noticed the mountain standing in front of him. Corbin's head looked down at his opponents stretch limos first (a.k.a. feet) then as his head moved slowly upwards, taking in all 3000lbs. of his 12-foot-tall opponent, the reality of his situation hit him. He turned to me with his mouth open and eyes wide as if to say, "Mommy!".
The refs threw the ball up between Corbin and the "skyscraper", and this kid got his fingers on the ball almost before the refs let go of it. Have you ever seen the movie, "Princess Bride"? There's a scene where the hero, Wesley, has to face a giant in hand-to-hand combat. Wesley repeatedly throws himself against the giant nearly popping a vein in his head, all the while the giant just stands there not budging and inch. Wesley's efforts are a pure lesson in futility.
Our poor boys, Corbin included, would push against their giant of an opponent to the point that they'd nearly be on the floor with their efforts, but this kid didn't budge! We parents decided, by the end of the game, that this wasn't a kid but a full-grown man at least 32 years old.
Well, the team lost the game, 44 - 12. Corbin scored a basket and got three rebounds. It wasn't pretty and the boys felt pretty beat up by the time it was all over. I think they learned a lot this weekend, though. They learned where they're weak in their defenses, and passing. They also learned how to lose.
I think it's so important for children to learn this lesson. When they lose, and they survive, they come to realize that it's not such a bad thing. It seems nowadays, there's a big push to make sure that our children never "lose". Everybody gets a trophy, everybody wins a prize, all so that no one feels left out. If there are no losers, then no one wins either. If our children never feel the pain of losing, they'll never experience the joy of winning. If they never experience the joy of winning, they'll never learn the lesson of striving for excellence.
One of the hardest parenting lessons to learn, I think, is allowing your children to lose. Corbin felt the sting of losing for a few minutes, then we went and got some pizza. He also was allowed the spend a quarter on a game at the restaurant and he won a bouncy ball. All was right with the world again.
BTW - that boy, was actually about 185lbs, and 6 feet tall. But I'm sure, to Corbin , he looked 12 feet tall. :-)
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Poo Poo Chronicles (old post...enjoy)
From: Monday July 21, 2008
Ok...........I think I have some of the most wonderful children on the planet! After all, what mother doesn't think that about her children? My three youngest, however, are seriously trying to send me into the Nut House!!!!!
In the past six months, I have endured my two youngest boys painting their sister's face with my makeup. I have dealt with them throwing clothes in the toilet (after someone had used it and DIDN'T flush!!). I've overcome them pulling the toilet paper from the roll (not tearing it off) and continuously flushing the toilet. I've even overlooked the toys, hair accessories, brushes, combs, toothbrushes, other clothing items, basically anything they can get their hands on, being thrown into the toilet bowl.
I thought I had witnessed the most disgusting thing, when one day I found my little girl sucking vigorously on a wash cloth. At first I didn't think anything of it, until I realized that the only water source she could access was, you guessed it, THE TOILET!!!!!!
Today, my three little cherubs got the bag of oranges off the counter top and played "organge bowl" with them, on my hardwood kitchen floor. All twelve oranges were split open and almost my entire floor was covered in sticky orange juice (if you've seen my kitchen, you know that it's no small task to clean my floors!). While I was cleaning that mess, they proceeded into my bathroom where they emptied out my drawers and scattered the contents all over my bathroom and bedroom floors. I was able to get them to sit and watch cartoons while I cleaned that up. I sat down for a minute, to catch my breath, when my daughter climbed up into my lap. She said, "Ah, poo-poos", then lifted her leg and stuck her hand in her diaper, I can only guess to prove to me that she did indeed have "poo-poos"!!
After I got her cleaned up, it was time for lunch (believe me, her hands have never been cleaner!!!). I made sandwiches for all three, gave them all some juice, then to my relief it was time for naps!!
I changed everyone's diapers, tucked them all in, then I settled down for some peace and quiet. Cameron woke up first (after 1 1/2 hours), and all was still just fine. Then, about an hour later I heard some panicked screaming coming from the twins' room. I ran upstairs to see what was wrong. The smell about knocked me over when I entered their room .Someone, obviously had a BIG poopy diaper. Catherine had gotten her leg stuck between the rails of her bed. I walked over to help her get loose, and the stench was almost unbearable. I looked at Carson who was lazily lounging in the corner of his bed. It was from him that this horribly offensive odor was emenating, and I immediately could see why.
My beautiful, precious, sweet little angel had filled his diaper with the most rank poopy I have ever had the displeasure of smelling. But he didn't just leave it in his odor trapping device. He stuck his hands (yes, hands - plural) down in his diaper and decided to take up finger painting with what he found inside!!! The only part of his body not decimated by this most odiferously foul stench, was his hair. There were his two, beautiful, perfect, mesmerizingly blue eyes peering out at me from the midst of his, well, "schooey"!!
I got Catherine loose from her bondage and set her outside the room. I opened the bathroom and began running a tub of water. I walked over to Carson, who by now had realized the error of his ways and innocently looked at me and proclaimed, "ICK!!!", while holding out his hands and arms in disgust. After MUCH rinsing (and gagging), I got my little imp clean, dried off, and diapered. I then stripped his bed of everything, the bumper, sheet, quilt, blankets, and Ernie, threw it all in the heavily soiled cycle in the washing machine and prayed for my husband to come home from work early!!!!
At dinner, Carson wasn't through wreaking havoc on himself. He plastered his belly with the fettucini noodles from our chicken alfredo dinner. Then, he rubbed alfredo sauce in his hair (I guess to make up for not rubbing the other "stuff" in his hair, earlier). He dumped his juice all over himself, his dinner plate, the table, and the floor, and to top it all off, drooled down the front of himself the entire time. After supper, we blew bubbles on the back deck, then threw the kids in the tub, then peace took over our house once again as we put the children down to bed, one-by-one.
Not sure how tomorrow is going to turn out. We told our three-year-old (under advisement from my mother) that the diaper fairy was coming to get all his diapers tonight for a needy little boy in town. So, beginning tomorrow he has to exclusively use the big boy potty. Pray for me!!!
I need a vacation!!
Not the aforementioned day, but yet another day of "finger painting" associated with poo! Gotta love my life!!! :-)
Ok...........I think I have some of the most wonderful children on the planet! After all, what mother doesn't think that about her children? My three youngest, however, are seriously trying to send me into the Nut House!!!!!
In the past six months, I have endured my two youngest boys painting their sister's face with my makeup. I have dealt with them throwing clothes in the toilet (after someone had used it and DIDN'T flush!!). I've overcome them pulling the toilet paper from the roll (not tearing it off) and continuously flushing the toilet. I've even overlooked the toys, hair accessories, brushes, combs, toothbrushes, other clothing items, basically anything they can get their hands on, being thrown into the toilet bowl.
I thought I had witnessed the most disgusting thing, when one day I found my little girl sucking vigorously on a wash cloth. At first I didn't think anything of it, until I realized that the only water source she could access was, you guessed it, THE TOILET!!!!!!
Today, my three little cherubs got the bag of oranges off the counter top and played "organge bowl" with them, on my hardwood kitchen floor. All twelve oranges were split open and almost my entire floor was covered in sticky orange juice (if you've seen my kitchen, you know that it's no small task to clean my floors!). While I was cleaning that mess, they proceeded into my bathroom where they emptied out my drawers and scattered the contents all over my bathroom and bedroom floors. I was able to get them to sit and watch cartoons while I cleaned that up. I sat down for a minute, to catch my breath, when my daughter climbed up into my lap. She said, "Ah, poo-poos", then lifted her leg and stuck her hand in her diaper, I can only guess to prove to me that she did indeed have "poo-poos"!!
After I got her cleaned up, it was time for lunch (believe me, her hands have never been cleaner!!!). I made sandwiches for all three, gave them all some juice, then to my relief it was time for naps!!
I changed everyone's diapers, tucked them all in, then I settled down for some peace and quiet. Cameron woke up first (after 1 1/2 hours), and all was still just fine. Then, about an hour later I heard some panicked screaming coming from the twins' room. I ran upstairs to see what was wrong. The smell about knocked me over when I entered their room .Someone, obviously had a BIG poopy diaper. Catherine had gotten her leg stuck between the rails of her bed. I walked over to help her get loose, and the stench was almost unbearable. I looked at Carson who was lazily lounging in the corner of his bed. It was from him that this horribly offensive odor was emenating, and I immediately could see why.
My beautiful, precious, sweet little angel had filled his diaper with the most rank poopy I have ever had the displeasure of smelling. But he didn't just leave it in his odor trapping device. He stuck his hands (yes, hands - plural) down in his diaper and decided to take up finger painting with what he found inside!!! The only part of his body not decimated by this most odiferously foul stench, was his hair. There were his two, beautiful, perfect, mesmerizingly blue eyes peering out at me from the midst of his, well, "schooey"!!
I got Catherine loose from her bondage and set her outside the room. I opened the bathroom and began running a tub of water. I walked over to Carson, who by now had realized the error of his ways and innocently looked at me and proclaimed, "ICK!!!", while holding out his hands and arms in disgust. After MUCH rinsing (and gagging), I got my little imp clean, dried off, and diapered. I then stripped his bed of everything, the bumper, sheet, quilt, blankets, and Ernie, threw it all in the heavily soiled cycle in the washing machine and prayed for my husband to come home from work early!!!!
At dinner, Carson wasn't through wreaking havoc on himself. He plastered his belly with the fettucini noodles from our chicken alfredo dinner. Then, he rubbed alfredo sauce in his hair (I guess to make up for not rubbing the other "stuff" in his hair, earlier). He dumped his juice all over himself, his dinner plate, the table, and the floor, and to top it all off, drooled down the front of himself the entire time. After supper, we blew bubbles on the back deck, then threw the kids in the tub, then peace took over our house once again as we put the children down to bed, one-by-one.
Not sure how tomorrow is going to turn out. We told our three-year-old (under advisement from my mother) that the diaper fairy was coming to get all his diapers tonight for a needy little boy in town. So, beginning tomorrow he has to exclusively use the big boy potty. Pray for me!!!
I need a vacation!!
Not the aforementioned day, but yet another day of "finger painting" associated with poo! Gotta love my life!!! :-)
The Innocence of Childhood
Our five-year-old, Cameron, reached a milestone event in his life the other night. Before I share what that is, I'll set things up a bit. More than ten years ago, my Grandmother, "Grandma Mary", was diagnosed with multiple myeloma cancer. She fought and struggled with this horrible disease for many years, and the doctors were finally successful in putting the cancer into a drug induced remission. There were some complications, however, and on March 30, 2010, Grandma went home to be with the Lord. We buried Grandma on Good Friday.
In the days following Grandma's death, we prepared to travel up to Iowa for her funeral. Part of that preparation was explaining to our children about Grandma's death and what they could expect at her funeral. Corbin had been to my Grandpa Springer's funeral when he was only 4, but other than that, none of the children had been to a funeral before.
So, we told the children they would see Grandma's body, but what made Grandma who she was, was no longer with us. She was now in heaven. Cameron became extremely interested in this concept. "What is heaven?" he would ask. "How do we get there?" The questions started coming more and more each evening. Cameron almost became obsessed with heaven, if that's possible.
We got through Grandma's funeral with many tears, but also many beautiful stories and laughter as we celebrated the life of a faithful wife, mother, grandmother, friend, Sunday School teacher, preacher's wife, and overall Godly woman. What a legacy she left behind. The lives she touched for God's Kingdom will only be fully known when we arrive in that golden city.
As our family discussed Grandma, her faithfulness and her orneriness, Cameron's little brain went into over drive. He was more interested in heaven and the state of his heart, with each word we spoke. Each night, Cameron grilled Keith and I about heaven, Jesus, and what it all meant for him.
We went to Easter services with my family, and Cameron learned even more about Jesus dying on a cross for our sins and how God raised Jesus from the dead. We came home from Iowa, and the questions and discussions continued. Cameron would play "Jesus died on the cross", and he took his Lincoln Logs and created a farm with three crosses. He told us that Jesus was on the one in the middle, "But don't worry, he won't stay dead!".
The other night, April 19, 2010, Cameron was full of his questions, as usual. He was cuddled up with me on the floor of his bedroom as Keith and I were preparing to pray with him and Corbin before bedtime. Cameron asked me, "Mommy? How do you get to heaven?" I told him that to get to heaven, you had to ask Jesus to come and live in your heart. "Mommy? have I done that?", Cameron asked. I told him he had not done that yet. "But Mommy! Should I do that?", he asked more urgently. I told him if that's what he wanted to do, then he should do it. "Ok! Dear Jesus, will you please come live in my heart? I love you! Thanks. Amen!" And that was it. Such simplicity, and purity of heart.
Of course then the questions really started flooding out of him: "Mommy? If I yawn, will Jesus fall out?", "I feel some tapping in my tummy! Is that Jesus dancing?!", "What do I do now?", "You mean, Jesus is going to live in my heart FOREVER?!", "Where will he sleep?", "If I make bad choices, will Jesus leave my heart?". The last question caught me in my throat. "No baby. Jesus will never leave you. He loves you and He understands that we sometimes make mistakes. All you have to do is tell Him you're sorry and ask Him to forgive you, and He will."
As a mother, I see every day that my children DO NOT live in perfection. They are not perfect chidlren, but I love them. There is absolutely nothing they can do that would ever make me stop loving them. In many ways, they live their lives in Grace. I love them, in spite of their mistakes. Every day I mother my children, I gain a deeper understanding of how God must love me. My love for my children, although it's deep and fierce, pales in comparison to how God loves.
I can tell you, although I love my extended family and my friends, there's absolutely NO WAY I would take any of my children and offer them up as a sacrifice for any of them. But, that's what God did for me. He sacrificed His only son, to create a way for me to be in a relationship with Him. And Christ willingly layed down His life, in obediance to His Father, to facilitate that pathway for us all.
What love. What mercy. What grace.
Cameron said that he wanted to make sure that EVERYONE goes to heaven. He spent the day, yesterday, urging his little three-year-old brother to accept Jesus into his heart. Cameron keeps reminding me that Carson has not yet done that, and when am I going to make sure that Carson asks Jesus into his heart. His older brother, Corbin, has already taken that step. I guess Cameron doesn't see Catherine as "needing" to do that just yet. She's obviously not as ornery as her twin brother, Carson is. At least, not in Cameron's eyes.
Proverbs 22:6 implores us, as parents, to train up our children in the ways of the Lord. God's promise here, is that "when he is old, he will not depart from it." The promise is NOT that our children will live out their entire lives in the will of God. The promise is that when they're "old" they will not depart from the Lord. My word of encouragement for those parents whose children may not be living as you think they should, stand on God's promises. He put them in His word for a reason; to give us heart, hope, and peace. Corbin and Cameron are safe in the arms of God. I ask Him, every day, that He guard the hearts of our children and to help them live lives that please God. But, if they don't, I have assurance in God's promise that in their latter years, they will trust in Him.
What peace God's promises afford to us all, as Christian parents. But, we shouldn't rest on our laurels. God also says we must be diligent in spreading His word and His Truths. God doesn't NEED us to tell the world about Him. He CHOSE to use us to spread His word. Just as we, as parents, don't NEED our children to do certain tasks around our homes but we CHOOSE to give our children responsibilities to teach them life lessons. God has CHOSEN to give us the tasks of proselytizing our families, friends, and the world. This task is not ONLY for the benefit of others. It is for OUR benefit and there are life-lessons to be learned when we obey our Lord's commands.
Cameron didn't waste any time to begin obeying God in this area. He immediately recognized the importance of obeying God, and telling those most important to him about the love of God. In his innocence, he simply does not question the things of the Lord. He accepts, wholly at face value without the cumbersome lies and doubts this world will certainly throw at him as he grows up.
So, for now, I'm enjoying the innocence of childhood and doing my best to learn life-lessons and Godly applications from it. I implore all parents to realize that we most definitely can gain wisdom from the words, actions, and lives of our children. We just need to take the time to observe and reflect on the things they say and do.
In the days following Grandma's death, we prepared to travel up to Iowa for her funeral. Part of that preparation was explaining to our children about Grandma's death and what they could expect at her funeral. Corbin had been to my Grandpa Springer's funeral when he was only 4, but other than that, none of the children had been to a funeral before.
So, we told the children they would see Grandma's body, but what made Grandma who she was, was no longer with us. She was now in heaven. Cameron became extremely interested in this concept. "What is heaven?" he would ask. "How do we get there?" The questions started coming more and more each evening. Cameron almost became obsessed with heaven, if that's possible.
We got through Grandma's funeral with many tears, but also many beautiful stories and laughter as we celebrated the life of a faithful wife, mother, grandmother, friend, Sunday School teacher, preacher's wife, and overall Godly woman. What a legacy she left behind. The lives she touched for God's Kingdom will only be fully known when we arrive in that golden city.
As our family discussed Grandma, her faithfulness and her orneriness, Cameron's little brain went into over drive. He was more interested in heaven and the state of his heart, with each word we spoke. Each night, Cameron grilled Keith and I about heaven, Jesus, and what it all meant for him.
We went to Easter services with my family, and Cameron learned even more about Jesus dying on a cross for our sins and how God raised Jesus from the dead. We came home from Iowa, and the questions and discussions continued. Cameron would play "Jesus died on the cross", and he took his Lincoln Logs and created a farm with three crosses. He told us that Jesus was on the one in the middle, "But don't worry, he won't stay dead!".
The other night, April 19, 2010, Cameron was full of his questions, as usual. He was cuddled up with me on the floor of his bedroom as Keith and I were preparing to pray with him and Corbin before bedtime. Cameron asked me, "Mommy? How do you get to heaven?" I told him that to get to heaven, you had to ask Jesus to come and live in your heart. "Mommy? have I done that?", Cameron asked. I told him he had not done that yet. "But Mommy! Should I do that?", he asked more urgently. I told him if that's what he wanted to do, then he should do it. "Ok! Dear Jesus, will you please come live in my heart? I love you! Thanks. Amen!" And that was it. Such simplicity, and purity of heart.
Of course then the questions really started flooding out of him: "Mommy? If I yawn, will Jesus fall out?", "I feel some tapping in my tummy! Is that Jesus dancing?!", "What do I do now?", "You mean, Jesus is going to live in my heart FOREVER?!", "Where will he sleep?", "If I make bad choices, will Jesus leave my heart?". The last question caught me in my throat. "No baby. Jesus will never leave you. He loves you and He understands that we sometimes make mistakes. All you have to do is tell Him you're sorry and ask Him to forgive you, and He will."
As a mother, I see every day that my children DO NOT live in perfection. They are not perfect chidlren, but I love them. There is absolutely nothing they can do that would ever make me stop loving them. In many ways, they live their lives in Grace. I love them, in spite of their mistakes. Every day I mother my children, I gain a deeper understanding of how God must love me. My love for my children, although it's deep and fierce, pales in comparison to how God loves.
I can tell you, although I love my extended family and my friends, there's absolutely NO WAY I would take any of my children and offer them up as a sacrifice for any of them. But, that's what God did for me. He sacrificed His only son, to create a way for me to be in a relationship with Him. And Christ willingly layed down His life, in obediance to His Father, to facilitate that pathway for us all.
What love. What mercy. What grace.
Cameron said that he wanted to make sure that EVERYONE goes to heaven. He spent the day, yesterday, urging his little three-year-old brother to accept Jesus into his heart. Cameron keeps reminding me that Carson has not yet done that, and when am I going to make sure that Carson asks Jesus into his heart. His older brother, Corbin, has already taken that step. I guess Cameron doesn't see Catherine as "needing" to do that just yet. She's obviously not as ornery as her twin brother, Carson is. At least, not in Cameron's eyes.
Proverbs 22:6 implores us, as parents, to train up our children in the ways of the Lord. God's promise here, is that "when he is old, he will not depart from it." The promise is NOT that our children will live out their entire lives in the will of God. The promise is that when they're "old" they will not depart from the Lord. My word of encouragement for those parents whose children may not be living as you think they should, stand on God's promises. He put them in His word for a reason; to give us heart, hope, and peace. Corbin and Cameron are safe in the arms of God. I ask Him, every day, that He guard the hearts of our children and to help them live lives that please God. But, if they don't, I have assurance in God's promise that in their latter years, they will trust in Him.
What peace God's promises afford to us all, as Christian parents. But, we shouldn't rest on our laurels. God also says we must be diligent in spreading His word and His Truths. God doesn't NEED us to tell the world about Him. He CHOSE to use us to spread His word. Just as we, as parents, don't NEED our children to do certain tasks around our homes but we CHOOSE to give our children responsibilities to teach them life lessons. God has CHOSEN to give us the tasks of proselytizing our families, friends, and the world. This task is not ONLY for the benefit of others. It is for OUR benefit and there are life-lessons to be learned when we obey our Lord's commands.
Cameron didn't waste any time to begin obeying God in this area. He immediately recognized the importance of obeying God, and telling those most important to him about the love of God. In his innocence, he simply does not question the things of the Lord. He accepts, wholly at face value without the cumbersome lies and doubts this world will certainly throw at him as he grows up.
So, for now, I'm enjoying the innocence of childhood and doing my best to learn life-lessons and Godly applications from it. I implore all parents to realize that we most definitely can gain wisdom from the words, actions, and lives of our children. We just need to take the time to observe and reflect on the things they say and do.
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